Sigh, where to begin?

I know, I’ll begin with this: I’m sorry I’ve been away. I have a super great excuse, so just hear me out for a moment.

This will be my 4th attempt at putting my thoughts on paper. I struggled with the previous drafts of this post because I truly have trouble creating a narrative for such important and intertwined subjects. I hope laying them out in chronological order will help, as bullet-point keynote thoughts of what I’ve feeling.

-Several years ago I moved into my parents’ home (to be closer to my father, he was terminally ill). It feels like decades have passed since then. For the time being, coming home to my mother and  home-cooked gourmet meals with a DVR replaying cheesy sitcoms and talent-based reality shows has been grand. I love my mom, she’s become one of my best friends, and I loved living with her. Despite all that, I have to admit that I never felt home. Some nights I’d wake up and still feel like my bed was not my bed, I’ve merely temporarily moved in. I never truly unpacked…

-And of course, outside of my mom’s home is Riverside County (I grew up in Orange County, but my parents moved shortly after I graduated high school to shorten my dad’s daily commute). I can only say that the town she lives in can be very uneventful. It’s a city known for its stimulated agriculture; crime statistics that keep me from inviting friends; and small-town mentalities that permeate through politics and town gossiping. While her house is warm and beautiful, the city and society outside her door is not necessarily my cup of tea. I also won’t go into my job dissatisfaction, let’s just say it wasn’t a good fit…

-Furthermore, outside of Riverside County are my friends (very outside, like I-didn’t-have-a-single-friend-within-a-50-mile-radius outside). There have been nights of depression when reading a stream of open invites on Facebook, Twitter, and texts from friends calling on me for a Disneyland outing, a Taco Tuesday, or a Mad Men Movie Night. The traveling between where I worked/slept and where I wanted to be was the one thing I felt I should, tolerate, even if it meant driving home on 2 lane roads or spending nights at my boyfriend’s, gracious friend’s, or sometimes hotel rooms, just to wake up in the early morning for the 70+ mile commute back to work. For about two years, spontaneity was a luxury for me…

-At that time, my job’s hostile workplace, 3+ hr commutes, displaced feeling of home, and uncertain future tested my relationship with Mark. Weeks were littered with nights spent re-assuring/freaking out/arguing against fears/cheering up/calming down a depressed Aline. There was more crying than there should be in an average relationship. Restless nights asking myself “where will I be in a year” and scaring myself with worst case scenarios which did a number on my happiness, and in turn, affected our relationship. I felt trapped in my work and living situation, terrified about my future…

-Luckily, Mark was determined to convince me of my “strong potentials, job skills, and work experience,” until he pushed me to take the first step: dusting off my resume. During the last 14 months, this job hunt was filled with its highs and lows, false call backs, bottled frustration, and hopeful follow-up calls. I was half-hearted and picky at first, only applying to “dream jobs.” It wasn’t until my the launch of In Case of Fireworks that I went into job search overdrive. The grind of literally spending every waking hour after work writing cover letters, tailoring multiple resumes, and scouring websites for leads was exhausting. The free time I had used for movies, driving out to friends, blogging, reading, video games, and all the other things that kept me sane, were replaced with job searching. Meanwhile at work, tensions and stress had become unbelievably high, more than a job should be, so taking off an entire day to interview became risky…

-One week in February, I applied to a record-breaking 50+ listings, and as fate would have it, one of those led to a successful phone interview, preliminary interview, and then in-person interview. When I entered The Job‘s workplace, I fell in love and texted Mark with “this is heaven!” I finally understood how it was possible to love your job to the point that it does not feel like work. Everyone I interviewed with was so pleasant. The satisfaction of the actual tasks, roles, and responsibilities the position had was a perfect fit. Everything else that came with it was surreal too. The beautifully modern offices, the 360 views (hi Hollywood sign), the benefits of longevity, the perks (weekly brunches/lunches, etc), the office proximity (literally next to my favorite LA building), AND friendly people? I wanted the job…

-In the past I’ve only been promoted and recruited from previous positions so I hadn’t interviewed in over a decade. And here I was, interviewing for a 3 1/2 hour interview with 7 people! The two weeks that followed was roller coaster of emotions for Mark and I. From the sinking “I’m not going to get it,” to the shaking, OMG-I-cannot-believe-it lottery feeling, and the humbling fact that such nice people even considered me…

-Needless to say, I was hired! The days that followed the acceptance are now remembered as my happiest, most vivid dream like “is this happening?” week. Both Mark and I literally shed tears of joy when I got the call. It was the start of my new life. No more hostile and unhealthy workplace, no more questionable future scenarios, no more 70mile distances to drive to my friends, no more nomadic feelings of not having a home to call my own, no more distractions from our happiness. Reality washed away my collection of  worse case/settling scenarios. A tidal wave of happiness!!!!


Which brings us to today.

I started my new job in the Financial District of DTLA. It’s still hard for me to explain why this move is so monumental for me. I know those closest to me understand why it’s so much more to me than just starting a new job, my own place to move in to, and taking back months of free time…

-This month has also been very special to me as it marks my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. We are happier than ever. He loves to remind me of my journey, of the highs and lows and tells me that I finally got what I deserve. It’s become an inside joke, he randomly texts me and say “you made it” or “aline, it’s all over :-)” It’s now a grand experience looking for a place to live, to call home, finally, within Los Angeles*. I can FINALLY attend to the lists of outfit posts, drafted Enjoyable entries, and all the other lovely things that I’ve been itching to get back into. I am excited. Believe me when I say that things are good. Really, really good..

I’ve never been this happy :)

-*(Now, looking towards the future, another potentially huge thing happened the same week I accepted my new position. It’s still a little early to talk about it, but I will keep you posted.)

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  1. After starting your post with a sigh, I didn’t expect a happy ending but yeay! I’m thrilled for you Aline.

    Congratulations on your job and well done on pushing to find it, it takes serious dedication to find one that you can love now – my boyfriend Thomas has been trying for hard for the past few years and its exhausting to be so worried and disheartened about your future… he’s got a better job now than he had but not something that he really loves and I know that it still upsets him, but this post encourages me to think that he will find that job he wants soon if he keeps looking.

  2. I’m so glad to hear you’re happy, sounds so amazing! Nice that you managed to write the post :) xoxo ♥

  3. Congratulations! I am so happy for you! You deserve to be happy and you’ve worked hard to get there. Enjoy it!

  4. annnd, don’t forget, your BIRTHDAY as well as the REFUSED show (epic story within itself), all within the four weeks of new job and anniversary :-]

  5. I’m a bit of a new reader to your blog but I had to comment on this post. It was inspirational. I am getting ready to sit down and really work at finding another job. I know its going to take time and it’s going to be emotional but this post gave me hope!

    Good luck at your new job. I hope it’s everything you want.

  6. this is so awesome!!!! i am so glad you have found such an awesome job and a new lease on life after some very difficult struggles. you have won!!! for reals! this is so good!

    p.s. i am a tiny bit jealous! lol. i should try harder to find a new job that might possibly make me happier. i have so many excuses that hold me back. humph. must think on your inspiring post and try to do what you have done. you are the winner! and that is awesome!!!!

  7. and congrats on the two year anniversary!!!!! being happy in a loving relationship is TOTALLY the cherry on top of life! FOR REALS!!!!

  8. Pingback: Can I SCREAM?!!! | In Case of Fireworks

  9. Hi Aline,
    I somehow (really not sure how) stumbled across this. I’m so happy that your life is really good!! And, you described all that is Hemet to the tee. Like always, I miss you very much! Keep in touch now and then, okay.
    Love ya,